This was the letter I wrote to myself about 2 years ago. It was the time of confusion and overthinking about almost everything. But yet there seemed to be some insight trying to come out through these words:
“Almost 22 now. Things have changed a lot since last writing which was at 20. This one is to know where we are and where to go. How far have we progressed and how far or how back we need to go. Written to many but always most excited to write back to you.
Mind has been like a crazy ball, bounced in many places lost and frustrated, wanting this and that, and recently seems to have come back to where it started from.
I notice a loop. It is repeating itself again and again. All things that have happened to you and the things that you made happen. Things that you searched and found and then lost and then found and then lost again. I notice that the same song is being played over and over just in different forms. Even if I try to change the song, it is just going to be a different version of the same song.
And it is all looped. So that we perceive it as a change, but it is maya. Change of form is not the change of the situation. In that sense there is no real change unless we break from this loop, these states of fear and desire, pleasure and pain, wanting to succeed but failing…etc.
And I think if one can understand this then it is not so difficult to break through. We know what to do. We know that it is the thoughts that keep you in this loop. We just have to destroy the thoughts other than those which help us live this life.
You have to destroy YOU. There is no you. Do you realise that? The ‘you’ that you believe is only a part in this chain which works by itself even if ‘you’ does not exist.
Look at it from the outside. The way the world works, what is your role in it? And what would happen if you did not exist? We worry too much, don’t we? Knowing that ‘you’ does not matter anymore, ‘you’ is free to do anything it likes. ‘You’ is free of failure or success, praise and blame. When ‘you’ has nothing to lose, it is free. Now the ‘you’ is very different from the one it was earlier. It will start playing games with ‘maya’ than being played by it.
Expand the way you see the world my friend, and make it your everyday perspective. Things will take care of themselves when the time comes. I have noticed that it never happens before or after it happens. It happens exactly at the time when it happens. It is hard to break free from the maya alive. Because the very body that surrounds you is under the impression of it. It has taken birth and it will die. But when you leave this body, you will have a chance to see things differently. At that moment you have to be ready.”